Zurückfallen

The weekend has been filled with so many breath-taking moments, that I hardly remember why I had earlier in the week felt homesick. But I do remember. It stemmed from an inactivity, and from a brief uncomfortableness with the German language. I had become so stagnant, so reliant on routine, that I had wanted everything to be perfect within that routine, particularly my language skills. Yet when I had an especially challenging day with communication, the stability of my routine was challenged and I was made uncomfortable again, but in a bad way. I just needed a little shaking, a bit more sleep, and some time talking to those back home to put my position back into perspective; I am in Germany, I am actively living out a dream I formulated years ago, and I am in the best possible position to learn from the culture I have so long been fascinated with (what with living among the people and all). Insecurities still exist, but with focus back in the foreground, I think that I can once again be a little more gutsy and feel a lot less insecure. I have two months left, and I have every intention of throwing myself into them. I want to look back and see that I have learned. No regrets.

That which finally grounded me was to actually break up the routine, rather than to follow it. I felt guilty, really, to not be travelling in every spare moment, or to be in the world practicing my German. Even a trip to the gorcery store can be enough to lighten my mood because I am not so isolated within my space, worrying about assignments that need completing. Those things will work themselves out, and I have promised myself to work a little bit each day on studying vocabulary and writing my psychology paper. Rather than fret, I forced myself out this weekend; it is so easy to turn down invitation when in a rut. On Saturday I visited "Flohmarkt," a sort of outdoor flea market, as well as a Karstadt shopping centre with my Au-pair partner-in-crime, Caillin. I do not even recall if I have mentioned Caillin in this blog yet, but briefly, she hails from Namibia (Southern Africa) and works as an Au-Pair for another family here in Wetzlar-Muenchholzhausen. It is a little comical to have suddenly two au-pairs in the small bedroom community that I believe till now had never had an au-pair, but it is a comfort for both of us to have another contact and friend so near. She of course will have to visit me in Canada, but first she has about 10 more months left working. The family that Caillin works for picked us up from Karstadt (it is located in the neigbouring city, Giessen) at around noon and we headed off to make apple juice. Or rather, we went to watch apple juice being made. The family had several apples (an understatement), and according to Caillin, they had stayed up very late pressing juice by hand into large containers the previous day. This time they had hired out a machine press and the job was done much faster. Regardless of how it is pressed though, fresh, organic apple juice has by far the best flavour.

Fall has definitely arrived in Hessen, and the forests around me are a near pure yellow. I do miss the red and orange that bedecks the trees in Canada, but it is still an incredible comfort to take a drive through the country and these yellow trees. It reminds me of the vast expanse of home, and reminds me just how much I love to be out of the city and within that absolute purity. I adore the farms around also, and the soft cows with their thick hide. The cows appear to have such a great beard around their necks and give off the appearance of being very well fed. It must be the thick grass. The Armbrusters and I went for a long drive today through said country, to visit the town where Tom was born and to see a couple of castles. First we passed through Braunfels to see the Schloss (castle) on the top of the hill. The town is actually quite small, but the architecture within is unbelievable. I stopped not for a moment to remove my jaw from the floor; I was simply too busy oogling and wondering why it was I ever gave up on architecture (visiting a second castle 10 min away where the floors slanted suddenly reminded me why; I terribly dislike physics). If I ever did get swept back up into the subject, I can guarantee that I will be returning to work in Europe in restoration. To preserve buildings like these everyday, and to learn every little bit of their history, would be a pleasure. The Schloss Braunfels, I believe, is still inhabited by one of the original families, making it not open to the public, and making me a little jealous that I do not live in a gorgeous castle up in the trees.

The second castle was Schloss Weilburg in the Hessen town, Weilburg. This is where Tom was born and although we did not do too much sightseeing of the town, our main goal was the castle. Built into and on top of a large rock edifice reaching down into the river Lahn, one feels as though they can look out over the whole world. The grounds are amazing, and since 1935 the schloss has been a public museum only available through guided tour. There are several sections built at different times, but everything is quite well preserved. I lost count of the number of parlours, and  learned that certain parlours were colour decorated according to the season that they would primarily be used in. The room that really gained my attention was the tea room. It was absolutely beautiful, and I would do near anything for the chandelier. Absolutely exquisit, all of it. A bedroom of one of the family members, though, in burned into my retinae in a less than pleasing way. The walls were the most vibrant shade of blue, near electric, and with such tall ceilings it was a lot to take in at once. I dragged my jaw along all the way through the tour regardless. Sometimes I really wish that I could travel time.

Today, I know, is Halloween, and while it is not celebrated by many in Germany, I wish everyone a great time back home. I have always enjoyed the day. It is also our zone's time changeover. The Guelph region will not have theirs until November 7, which means that for the next week I will only by 5 hours ahead. I do love gaining an hour.

- Candles